Connect before you correct (or demand)
Preschooler Example:
Your preschooler is building a sandcastle at the park and it's time for lunch. Before asking him to leave, give a warning, then make a connection. "It's time to go home and eat in 3 minutes. Tell me about what you're building." After 3 minutes pass... "It's been 3 minutes. What's it time to do?"
Grade-schooler Example:
Your school-aged child is watching a show while her mess lingers in the kitchen. Before asking her to clean up, make a connection. "That looks yummy. It's so helpful that you fend for yourself for snacks." After a minute or so of conversation... "A few dishes still need to be put away. Do you want to pause the show or get to them at the commercial?"
Teenager Example:
Your teenager is playing his guitar so loud, you worry about the damage to his ears (and yours!) Before telling him to turn down the volume, make a connection. "What is the song you were playing earlier? Could you play it for me?" After taking a genuine interest... "Repeated exposure to high volumes causes permanent damage to eardrums. How can you prevent this?"
Explanation:
Connecting before correcting (or demanding) puts you and your child on the same side, increasing connection and cooperation.